


Q Branch Manual: Appendix Z

by Linorien



Category: James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Q branch manual, Q branch schenanigans, goldfinger prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 03:44:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13872411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linorien/pseuds/Linorien
Summary: Goldfinger prompt: Secret AppendixI’d like to believe that Q branch has a manual they give to new hires. This is the secret part that Q pretends he doesn’t know about. He’s actually mostly appalled at how little had to be changed when he became Q.





	Q Branch Manual: Appendix Z

[](https://imgur.com/XXljrnA)

 

**1\. Nomenclature**

Q will deny it, but he is the overlord and we are his minions. If he wasn’t working here, we would be hunting him as a supervillain. You will likely end up with a nickname that will be your minion name. Don’t be surprised if Q slips up and uses it.

 

**2\. Getting Funded**

While in Q branch, you will have many opportunities to create gadgets and applications, but not all of them will make it past prototype stage. In order to improve your chances, prove that it is worth it. Q has to justify every new piece of tech to Budget; if you do it for him, he is more likely to approve it.

 

**3\. Caring for the Quartermaster**

Q cares. A lot. This means he will often prioritize the safety of fhe agents over his own. So what can you do?

**3.1 Making tea**

Like many of us, Q runs on tea. He is extra particular. He prefers earl grey, loose leaf, hot enough to be just barely steaming. There are typically four minions who excel at making tea. You can notify them of the need to make tea by clicking the relevant button in your ‘Q branch Care’ application.

**3.2 Self-Delegation**

Become familiar with what tasks are delegated. Become an expert at two of these and start before Q delegates them.

**3.3 Do Not Disturb**

On the rare occasion that Q is not at the front of the room, do not seek him out unless it is an emergency. Either send an email or talk to R.

 

**4\. Surviving Long Missions**

Everyone will be assigned to a seemingly endless mission at one point or another. It will feel worse than your dissertation. It’s not. But you need some help to survive.

**4.1 Lab N**

This is the perfect place to nap. As far as the rest of the building knows, it was deemed radioactively unsafe. In reality there are low lights, soft music, and bunk beds.

**4.2 Lab C**

When you are frustrated, lab C is always looking for people to help test explosives. Never go without supervision, especially when you’ve been awake more than 20 hrs.

**4.3 Delegate**

Everyone has the expertice. Sometimes its better to ask for help instead of reinventing the computer.

**4.4 Never Fight the Agents**

Sass back and take no shit, but ultimately they are in the field, not you. No use starting an argument you will loose.


End file.
